


The Kidswap Project: Beta Edition

by JERRYBERRY96



Series: Universal Randomizer Mayhem [2]
Category: Homestuck, MS Paint Adventures
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Cliffhanger, Gen, Homestuck Kidswap, Hurt/Comfort, Universal Randomizer Mayhem, Weird Plot Shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-31
Updated: 2016-09-03
Packaged: 2018-07-28 10:21:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7636471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JERRYBERRY96/pseuds/JERRYBERRY96
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Did you know the butterfly effect? It's that theory that says that one small change in the past can have drammatic effects in the future. Now Imagine what could happen if the meteors that carry John, Rose, Dave and Jade had landed in the wrong place at the wrong time and, because of this, the wrong guardian will grow them. What will happen? I am the Sentry of Paradox Space and I will tell you a story about how a "little" mistake had almost destroyed the whole Paradox Space. (Part 2: how the children grown in the wrong families)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Dave Egbert-Jade Lalonde

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry if I made you wait so long but I was kinda buisy until now!!!

Your name is Dave Egbert. You are 13 years old and today is your birthday. You have a variety of interests. You have a passion for really terrible movie. You like to make comics but you are not very good at it. You have a fondness for paranormal lore, and are an aspiring amateur magician. You also like to play games sometimes. You are now making a plan to recover the beta version of Sburb, currently in possess of your dad, who is doing something in the kitchen. After some pondering, you decide to wear a disguise made of fake glasses and a hat and carry the hammer you used to stick a poster on the wall in case you have to fight with your dad. You came out your room and walk carefully around the house. With every step you make the fear of being discovered rise, and when you reach the kitchen you make a terrible discovery. You father is baking more cakes. You start to scream that you are tired of eating cakes, blowing your cover and revealing your presence to your father. Without any alternative you are forced to strife with him: he launches at you a couple of cakes but you manage to dodge them, then you try to strike him with your hammer but he manages to defend himself using another cake as a shield. After you two repeat it for 6-7 times you run to the table, catch the gift and run to your room. Once there you look at the green box and open it carefully. Once completely opened you stare inside of it, but instead of the game you find a letter from the development studio that announces that the beta release of SBURB is cancelled because there are too much bugs and apologies for the inconvenience. You are both angry and sad for this. You sit on your bed, thinking of what you could have done with your friend inside the game. Then your father appears at your door, holding two gift for you. You open the first one and you find out is a poster of the Tim Burton’s remake of “Planet of the Apes”. Once you see it you hug your dad and proceed to attack it to the wall, then you open the second one, and a spring launches a cake on your face. You had the feeling that this will happen, but you don’t care. At least today.  
\---------------  
Your name is Jade Lalonde. You have a variety of Interests. You have a passion for rather obscure literature. You enjoy the furry fandom and are somewhat secretive about it. You have a fondness for the bestially strange and fictitious, and sometimes dabble in psycoanalisis. You also like to knit, and your room is a bit of a mess. And on occasion, if just the right one strikes your fancy, you like to play video games with your friends. Currently you are staring at your drunk mother, who is sleeping on the couch. You consider various ways to wake her up, and, after every one fails, you choose the most drastic: you take a glass, fill it with water and drop it on her face. When she get up she ask angrily at you: “WHAT THE HELL JADE? Why did you drop on me some water? Nobody…” “Mom, the car will arrive here in one hour.” “What car?” “The one that will took you to the congress.” “What congress?” “The one where all the North American scientists showcase their discoveries.” “THAT CONGRESS?! JADE WHY YOU DIDN’T AWOKE ME BEFORE?!” “I tried, but you was so drunk that every tentative failed. The water was my last option. If it didn't work then I would have called an ambulance.” Your mother mumbles then a “Thanks” and try to get up from the couch, but she fall on the ground and fall again asleep. After having a facepalm you decide to drag her into the bathroom, drop her into the bathtub, take off her clothes and wash her. Once clean you proceed to dress her, pack her luggages and make her up, then you make a cup of coffee for your mother and, when she finishes to drink it, the car arrives. You took her to the door and, once she gets on the car, you say to her goodbye and good luck. Once the car leave you enter inside your home and see on the table a Vodka Martini left on the table. You decide to drink a little bit of it just for trying. You split it out almost instantly and instead decide to make a tea for yourself.


	2. John Strider

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I have promised to you that I would have post it and here it is! A brand new episode of The Kidswap Project! Today we will see a normal day in John Strider's life!

Your name is John Strider. It is an unseasonably warm April day. Your bedroom window is open to let some air in, and your fan is cranked. Arguably even more cranked would be your fly beats, which brings us to your variety of interests. A cool dude like you is sure to have plenty. You have a penchant for spinning out unbelievably ill jams with your turntables and mixing gear. You like to rave about bands no one’s even heard of but you. You collect weird dead things preserved in various ways. You are an amateur photographer and operate your own makeshift darkroom. You like to make some shitty video games and sell them on Steam. And if the inspiration strikes, you won't hesitate to drop some phat rhymes on a mofo and represent. You are currently making some shitty games when you decide to make a pause and drink some apple juice. Once you arrive at the kitchen you open the fridge and some seconds later a dozen of swords fall from it. You dodge them and ask to yourself why your jerkass brother has to do this every day, but then you see your arch enemy: Lil Cal. You have always hated that puppet, and because of this you have tried to destroy it a thousand time, but every time your brother fixed it. You take your katana and proceed to decapitate it, then you take a garbage bag and proceed to… You don’t find that damn puppet when you go back in the kitchen. And this means that HE is here. You look around nervously, hoping to find him before he could strike you. Too late you realize he was hiding on the ceiling, and when you realize it he attacks you and breaks your emergency defence. You try to escape but he keeps attacking you. Your Bro has always used this educational method, since you remember, and even if he hurted you lots of time he never stopped. But today you are tired to escape or try desperately to defend yourself. Today you will fight back. Your first 3-4 slashes are stopped by his katana, so you try to strike him with your second katana. Your bro barely dodges the strike since he has no idea that you have secretly practiced dual sword wielding, but he recover quickly and try to strike you as harder as he could, hoping that your cheap katanas won’t resist for too long. Because of this you decide to run away from the flat, but you end up panicking and so you find yourself on the roof. Your reflex save yourself from a slash of your bro and then you continue your violent fight. You try to hold on as much as you can but suddenly something that neither you and your brother had predicted: your blades break themselves into many, small, lethal pieces and some of them pierces your skin, your muscles and organs. Before you lose consciousness you cough some blood and look at your bro, who has an horrified look on his face. Then you fell, saying to yourself: “Please, God, please, I don’t want to die, I don’t want to…  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
“

When you open your eyes you see a white light and something humanoid at your left. Then the image became more nitid and you see that you’re in an hospital and the humanoid thing is no other than your bro, who seems to be crying. You mutter something barely audible by human ears: “...b...broo?” He stops crying and looks at you, then he hugs you and tells you how he’s happy that you’re alive, that you spent 2 months in coma and that the doctors were unsure of your survival and then apologize for being a dick all this time. You never hear him saying this and at first you don’t know how to react, but then you start to cry and proceed to hug him back. That night he sleeps next to your bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the next episode we will see the daily life of girl and his reality warping dog!


	3. Rose Harley

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meanwhile, in a small island in the Pacific...

Your name is Rose Harley. You have just woken from a restful nap, and as usual, you have no recollection of having fallen asleep. You have quite a number of interests. So many in fact, you have trouble keeping track of them all: you have a deep passion for horticulture, older cartoons, creative writing, Nuclear physics, high-tech gadgetry… You are also a skilled riflewoman. You are currently trying to find a good place where you can write. After you take all the stuff that you need (food, paper, your rifle…) you say goodbye to your grandpa, whose stuffed body rest near the fireplace, and go outside. You then start to search a good place. You initially think to go into the frog temple, but you reject this idea knowing that your dog Bec won’t let you go closer to it. Then you see a big tree that surely will let you have a good visual of the island. You start to go towards it but halfway you hear a warping sound then you see a sudden white light, and then your dog appear out of nowhere. You ignore him and proceed to the tree but he follows you. You continue to go to the tree but he follows you, again. After 20/25 minutes you get tired of him and proceed to do the right thing: you aim at his head with your rifle, then you move it to his left and shoot towards the ocean. He didn’t resist and go to fetch it, meanwhile, you reach the tree and start to climb it. Once at the top you sit on a branch and start to write. You write until afternoon, then you decide to go back home. Unfortunately, while you get down from the tree you slip and start to fall to the ground. While you fall you close your eyes and scream the name of the only person that can save you: “BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Suddenly something grab you and take you down to the ground. Only then you open your eyes and see your big, white, reality warping dog that licks your face. You start to think that maybe he knew that this was going to happen and tried to protect you the whole time, but then you realize that this is improbable and you start to pet him. He’s a good dog, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the next episode:  
> SHITS IS GOING TO BE REAL!!!


	4. EPILOGUE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The end of the beta

3 YEARS LATER  
Your name is John Strider, and this is not your room. It looks more like a prison cell. And you have no Idea how you entered inside it. Suddenly you get pestered by Dave:  
TG: John  
TG: JOHN  
TG: JOHN!!!  
EB: sup bro how it goes?  
TG: I’ve been trapped inside a  
EB: a prison cell?  
TG: How do you know?  
EB: because I’m trapped inside one too  
TG: Yes but why?  
TG: Why someone abduct us?  
EB: dunno man. Try to contact the others for help  
TG: I’ve already contacted Jade and Rose but they are inside a cell too  
EB: fuck  
TG: What we can do?  
EB: let's try to smash down the door  
TG: I don’t think that this will work  
EB: let’s give a try anyway  
TG: Ok…  
You cease pestering Dave and try to smash the door, but it doesn't work. It seems to be made in a way that no one can escape from the inside. You then take your two katana and try to cut it down, but it didn’t work because they’re two piece of shit. Suddenly you hear a noise coming from outside and you decide to scream from help: “Help! There’s someone outside here? Can someone help me?” Suddenly a katana pierces the wall like butter and cut a hole in it. When the wall fall down you see a guy of your age who wears a leather jacket, a pair of fingerless leather gloves and a pair of dumb anime shades. He says: “Sup. My name’s Jake. Who are you?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CONTINUES IN "THE KIDSWAP PROJECT"

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry 4 some grammar mistakes. The next episode will be published as soon as possible. Sorry if this episode is too short.


End file.
